Well This is Uncomfortable

I've been thinking about this for a very long time now and I don't know how to begin this. I picked up the phrase, "Well that's uncomfortable" from a friend but it's become a quote that's associated with me whenever there's an awkward situation. Well, this is an awkward situation and I really want to say "This is uncomfortable." 

I suppose with every story, there is an end and a beginning so I'll start with the end of the story and move my way to the beginning. Alice-Jane is just a pen name.

There are a lot of reasons that I've come up with why I use a pen name (my blog's name is Crazy Red Pen and pen name [This was somehow pun-ny in my mind once], that I wanted to separate my internet and real life, even my full name is common... the list goes on) but the simplest and truest reason is, it was 2009 and I had too many of internet safety classes from school to use my real name. A quote from a movie comes to mind, "I was young! And naive! Please forgive me!" (Cue some rain and a boyfriend. The scene is set. Who the boyfriend is, I don't know.)

But I don't think I wasn't being myself at anytime during this experience. Alice-Jane is as much me as my real name is. What I felt, wrote, and blogged about were truthful. Some are the words I wanted to say in person, but never did. Looking back, I'm glad I wrote them down. 

However, I want to say these things with my name. I want to say that diversity is important, that I really, really like a book (EVEN LIKE THIS IN ALL CAPS) and that sometimes I am scared of doing things.

Ultimately though, at the end of the day, I'm just another girl who's maybe (un)healthy obsessed with books and I hope you'll stay with me (and this ridiculous blog of mine that I've kept for the longest time ever).

And if you do, I want to say hi. My name is Jessica and I like to read. 

If you have any concerns or questions, comment below or tweet me. I'll try to answer as best as I can. 

With much love. xo

9 comments

  1. Aw, it's completely alright <3 I used a pen name too when I first went onto the internet though that was nearly 10 years ago haha. I think you would find that even among our community, some do use pen names and I think that's perfectly normal. Sometimes a name is just a name and what really matters is the person we are, if we don't hide who we are and pretend to be someone we are not that is. I sort of use a pen name, as in Charlotte is not legally my name but it is the name I have used for close to 8 years online and offline so it's every much a part of my identity.


    Thank you for making this post <3 I definitely will stick with you because this changes very little, you're still one of my favourite bloggers and people *hugs* (You're not getting rid of me that easily haha) I'm glad you were able to share with us though. (Just wondering though, what would you like us to call you from now on?)

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  2. Haha, I don't find it uncomfortable at all. I love you for your personality, not your name. Names are changeable. Some bloggers change their blog names when something seems better. Many women change their last names when married. And some people change their names when online to help protect themselves. There is nothing wrong with that.


    I think it's great that you feel comfortable enough to finally share your real name though! I mean, to do it after like four years must have been a big decision and a slightly intimidating one. I'm glad you did it. Even something as small as this can say a lot about a person. I think it shows you're smart and brave and honest. :)

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  3. <3 <3 It's been nearly five years with Alice-Jane so honestly, whatever's comfortable with you is fine with me. :)

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  4. Hi, Jessica! My real name is uncommon in the US. I blog under my initials because I want to separate my online life from my professional one. I don't write anything online that I wouldn't say under my own name, but I blog about book-related legal issues that are very different from the type of law I practice. I don't want to confuse people.

    The title of your post caught my eye because I say, "Well, this is awkward." Now one of my six-year-old twins says it too (which probably means I'm overusing it!).

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  5. Hey! I really love your blog and how examining topics through a legal standpoint. It's really intriguing. I totally get not wanting to confuse people about what you do because I've felt that for a long time before my two worlds starts to overlap.

    And I don't think the phrase "Well, this is awkward" is bad! Embrace it :) And I think it's totally cute when six year olds say the phrase, haha. But I think I might be partial to the phrase in general.

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  6. Yes, yes, yes, yeeesssssss.

    You’re all new and shiny to me now. ;D

    I totally understand the awkwardness of “hey, guess what! My real name is actually this.” People have known you by a certain name, and you don’t want them to treat you different just because your name isn’t exactly what you go by IRL. I’ve been Cee for seven years, and I love being known by that name (even though it isn’t what I go by IRL) because it gives me freedom to be myself. I feel extremely uncomfortable with the thought of revealing my IRL name (or when people ask for it even jokingly) because that makes me feel a bit vulnerable and awkward. I want to be comfortable with myself and other people, and for some reason, my pen name gives me that. Plus, Cee is apart of me as much as my IRL name. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what your real name is; it matters that you are comfortable with who you are.

    It’s an scary step to make to revealing your real name, and I applaud you for feeling comfortable enough to reveal your real name.

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Maira Gall